Her

I remember being woken up.  I remember the dread in the pit of my stomach.  I remember the fear in their faces.  I remember calling dear ones, begging them to pray.  I remember my husband telling me she was gone.  I remember the empty ache.  I remember.  I remember the tears that came.  I remember loving her through the words I spoke.  I remember meeting her family and the precious hugs we shared.  I remember clinging and weeping.  I remember the feeling of loss.  I remember.

I remember her laughter and her tears.  I remember her dreams for her future.  I remember her holding his hand.  I remember her playing with my daughter.  I remember her dimpled grin.  I remember shared moments and memories.  I remember her love.  I remember her decided abandon.  I remember her heart laid bare.  I remember her sleeping over.  I remember tapioca pudding.  I remember Thanksgiving that year.  I remember her love for my family.  I remember...her.

I knew there would be a day when the sharp pangs turned to dull ache...the reminder of a painful wound that is still healing but scarred.  I knew her face would frequent my memories not quite as often...but that some memories are only ours to share.  I knew this week would always be a painful reminder of what happened, what could have been, what was lost.  I knew I would always hate her lack of presence in my present.  I knew that her legacy would be one I remember and her life would inspire me to live.

I still hate that I didn't get to say goodbye.

I still miss her.

I will always wish that I could hug her again.

I love her, my sweet friend, Tiffany Ann.