A thought or two on Parenting...

I have been thinking a lot lately and wanted to share a bit on my blog.

First things first. Chile trip was very successful. We plan on writing an update about that in email form soon. Life has been crazy since we got back to Tulsa but it is on top of the to do list. I learned a lot through the course of the trip and I am sure my reflections will come later.

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The thing that has been occupying a lot of my thoughts lately is parenting and parenthood. Perhaps and most likely this is due to the fact that 90% of my day is focused on my children and raising them. On Sunday at church I was meeting a new little baby and her first time momma. My mom was talking to her and the conversation somehow turned to sleeping and such. The new mom replied "I am not much for crying it out...".

This conversation reminded me of a thought process I had been having before we left Chile and so I have returned to it.

Here we go... This is MY interpretation of life. Thus my OPINION. I will not be offended if you think differently.

Parenting is like theology. Theology is the study of God (directly translated). Basically (or so it seems to me) people study God, study the Bible, study life with God and come up with ideas about what they think to be true from this study. A lot of theology becomes truth in the eyes of those who believe similarly. For example we have the classic, age old debate between Arminius and Calvin. Notice this is not the debate between predestination and free will. No...it is the debate between the belief systems of two men who are on the opposite side of the spectrum of belief on some issues.

I think parenting is the same way. Parents over time have developed systems and thoughts and beliefs on parenting. They begin to label them as 'parenting styles'. And now you have debates between 'crying it out' and 'co-sleeping'. Between 'bottle feeders' and 'breastfeeders'. Between 'spanking' and 'grounding/time-out'.

I am kinda of over it all to be honest. Both Theology and Parenting philosophies/systems. I have been over theology for a long time...I am much more interested in the discovery and pursuit of a relationship with Jesus. Don't get me wrong I am not saying there are not merits to theology (and this is a different blog topic entirely.) but that it isn't my focus in life.

Parenting systems and philosophies is beginning to jade me in the same way... Once upon a time a long time ago moms and dads didn't have books with different ideas and tips and styles and plans and schedules and 'helpful hints'. They just tried their best to raise their little ones. Of course we can learn from books and I for one have read my fair share. But there is not a single book on the planet on parenting that I think has all the answers.

So what am I trying to say. Simply this...I am done talking and thinking and comparing parenting styles. I am going to try my best to parent based on my instincts, communication with Jesus and my husband. I might read a book here and there to get fresh ideas and see what is out there...but I am just going to take it as it is...someone else's idea on something they think works.

But as a parent I need to figure out what I think. What is it that I believe to be good parenting? How do I raise successful, kind, loving adults who make a difference in this world? No one has that formula. Because they are MY kids. I, along with my husband and the Holy Spirit, are the best resources for raising them. Wisdom says I listen to instruction and council but at the end of the day it just comes down to me and my kids.

I love being a parent. I love trying and sometimes failing and sometimes getting it right. I love the giggles of my kiddos and their spontaneous hugs. I love seeing them learn and grown and change. I love it. And I didn't get that from a parenting style or parenting tips of the day. I just got it from being me, being a mommy, and loving my kids.