Not My KID, Monday!

This is a little different spin on the "Not Me! Monday" posts. So I'm attempting to join in on "Not MY kid! Monday". Thankfully my kids contributed, well maybe I'm thankful

Potty training my 2 year old has not caused me significant woes:
My above mentioned child did NOT sit on the potty for 20 minutes and do nothing but pull toilet paper off the roll and ask to get down. She did not then promptly get off and pee on the floor within a minute of being off the toilet....3 times! Not my Child!

She did not on the same day go outside with me in just her panties and t-shirt. She was outside for less than a minute when I see pee pooling around her feet. I gently scolded her telling her that she needs to go pee in the potty. She did not look down at the puddle of pee and back up at me and exclaim simply: “Yucky” Not my child!

It was not my youngest child who did NOT attemp to eat the baking soda soaking up the pee from my eldest's multiple accidents. Not my child!

One day this week my youngest child did not cry at every nap time for over ½ an hour until I had to rock him. Then at bed time he cried for 5 minutes and was sound asleep. Not my child!

It was not my child who forgot that the spoon she was holding was the one she was playing in the dirt with and then absent mindedly put the spoon (full of dirt) into her mouth. She was not then spitting for the next 5 minutes and asking repeatedly ‘cup’ cup’ cup’. Not my child!

My child was NOT so hungry during the afternoon that my husband was watching the kids while I was at the chiropractor that she went looking for a snack herself. She did not begin chewing on the top of a squeeze bottle of red food coloring. I did not walk in the door to see my husband holding my child's stained dress in one hand and my red-handed(literally) and red-faced child in his other arm. Not my Child!