Thoughtful Tuesday

I am a very logical thinker. I am a planner. And I am actually quite good at organizational things. I like living in an ordered manner. And a make very calculated and thoroughly thought out decisions.

But lately I realize that I have been carrying this nature into my relationship and interactions with God. I have been letting my thoughtful calculations and planned determination guide and direct my steps. Because to be honest...I am of the opinion often that I have reached the best and most logical decision.

But I know that isn't what God wants for me. I'm not saying that there will be time when the thing I THINK is right and the thing he KNOWS is right line up...It has just been slowly dawning on me that I need to really stop and think through my decision making process.

I need to seek him first. To ask him what his will is. To gain his perspective on my situations and circumstances. I'm sure I can make a good decision. But without Him I'm not able to determine if it is the RIGHT decision. I want to find his will and join him in the process of seeing His Kingdom come and His will be done.

It's a pretty simple fundamental Biblical principle...to have Jesus guide and direct my steps. I could use the excuse of living in a culture that isn't into using the Bible as a compass, the Holy Spirit as the guiding light and Jesus as a motivating relationship. But to be honest...I know better. I've been doing this relationship thing with Jesus for a long time...I know that his way is the best way. That his plans have my best interests in mind. That his will is the path I want to follow.

So what's the hang up I wonder?

Ok I'm not really wondering.

I know.

I'm scared

and

I like to be in control of my own life.

There I said it. It's the sorry truth really. I have example after example of his will being the perfect plan for my life. But like I said. I'm a very logical thinker and I'm a planner. I hate to see someone making a decision that isn't logical or gosh, gasp...actually have to do something that isn't logical to me. I like plans. I like to know that what I have planned in my head is actually going to happen.

And following the voice of the Holy Spirit...well it feels risky. It doesn't feel safe. It feels like I'm not in control. And that my plans may not happen.

Quite frankly...that's all true.

But that doesn't change God's nature and character. And that his will is the absolute best for my life...even if the way it looks at first isn't the way I have it planned out in my head.

So these are my thoughts this Tuesday. They're not really profound to me....just a reminder to seek Him first. It sounds simple right? For me it's easier said than done. But I am learning. It may not feel safe, but HE is oh so very good.